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When Bullies Attack - Self-Defense for Kids

When Bullies Attack - Self-Defense for Kids

How to Teach Your Child to Physically Defend Against The School Bully On That Day When Nothing Else Works

Preparing Your Child to Face The Bully

What does your child do when everything we've heard about dealing with a bully doesn't work? There's no teachers or school security around and your child is face to face with the school bully. WHAT SHOULD HE/SHE DO....!

I'm going to:

* Prepare your child mentally to face the bully

* And finally, when your child must either take a beating or defend himself/herself :/

* How many times to hit the bully

* Where to hit the bully so he/she will think twice before attacking your child again (no you do not know the spot)/

* I'm also going to teach your child how to defend himself/herself even while your child is scared to death to get hit or hit back./

No one wants to think about this, but it does become necessary

What's Wrong With The Traditional Martial Arts Training?

A traditional martial arts school would put your child in a nice loose fitting karate uniform, have him/her line up in a nice line and practice in front of a mirror. The parents love it. The kids are listening. Yelling yes sir or yes mam. They seem to be learning.

Then The Bully Shows Up

He shoves your child while verbally abusing him/her

Your child wasn't trained to handle this. No one spoke to him/her like this before. He/she didn't have time to get into a fighting stance and kia (yell). Your child gets beaten. This was hard for me to write, but it does happen.

So What Do You Do to Make Sure Your Child Can Face The Bully if He/She Must

I'm going to explain all this to you by telling you how I trained Chris to defend himself against a bully. Chris was an 11 year old boy when his mom contacted me about my self-defense ad in the newspaper. She explained to me an older and bigger boy was bullying Chris almost everyday.

The school administration didn't seem to be able to do anything about it. Furthermore, she realized teachers can't be there all the time. Her child had to walk home from school, go to recess and engage in other school activities where a teacher may not be available immediately to help Chris.

Basic self-defense was not going to be enough for Chris. I've seen those classes and to be honest, they offer no preparation for the real world whatsoever. So what I needed to do, was bring the real world to Chris, a little at a time.

Physical Preparation

The first stage for Chris was teaching him how to block or avoid being attacked. So I asked him directly

"What kind of things does this boy do to you"

It turned out to be anything from shoving him to punching him.

So we started with blocks.

The blocking drills were very basic and involved blocking my punches. Not standing in front of a mirror and trying to look pretty.

All of the blocking drills involved blocking my focus pad or my arm

Now, here's how I slowly began to desensitize Chris....

You are responsible for your own actions. I do not accept responsibility for any injuries. Always see a physician before engaging in any physical activities.

I started with nice easy focus mitt strikes to his head. Swinging in a nice easy arc. I didn't say block, I said knock my hand away. Anyone can knock your hand away without knowing how to block. Eventually I struck harder and harder. He learned to snap his wrist a bit and, because he was blocking a hard hitting target and not just using the mirror or a pad at the end of a whiffle ball bat, his stability began to improve while blocking as well.

Caution is advised here for blocking drills. You or your child may get bruised arms.

Here's a section from my book on Blocking. Don't worry I'll explain after you read the section.

This is an excerpt of my book How to Block Better

Desensitization and Blocking Drill

Use this drill to practice all three types of blocks. blocks. Don't forget your bent raised legs can be used to block as well. Padding may be required.

1. Get a partner with control

2. Have your partner execute a single strike towards you at a distance safe for you yet you feel slightly uncomfortable with.

3. Wear whatever protection you require to keep from being injured. Saying stuff like this puts the responsibility on you to be safe in case some idiot reader won't accept responsibility for his/her own actions.

4. Your partner continues to get closer and closer to you until he/she must pull the strike for safety to avoid injuring you.

5. The same technique should be executed each time. Thus the only factor that changes is your comfort level.

6. Now switch sides. Opposite striking limbs. Opposite stances. Desensitize covering all the potential differences while still utilizing the same strike. Repeat steps one through five above.

7. Now select a block repeating steps one through six using the same block. You and your partner may need additional padding for your arms and legs to avoid bruising. If you've never blocked before think of it as knocking your partners limb away.

8. Switch blocking arms. Repeat steps one through six.

9. Change striking techniques. Your partner should select a strike aimed at a different body part. Repeat steps one through eight.

10. Change striking angles. For example if your partner had executed a reverse punch or straight punch towards your head now your partner should execute a hooking punch toward your head. Repeat steps one through nine.

11. Your partner now executes two attacking techniques repeating steps one through 10

12. Your partner now executes three attacking techniques repeating steps one through 10

13. Removed to keep within article directory guidelines.

14. Repeat steps one through 13.

End Blocking Book Section

Don't worry about the three different types of blocks. The only two rules about blocking is don't get hit and don't block with your face.

Obviously you don't have to switch partners. Start with something simple as an open hand tap to your child's head which he/she must block and work your way to controlled punches such as a left and right cross. Don't worry as much about how to punch towards your child as the angle that you use to practice with your child.

I put sparring gloves on as I began attacking him with combinations. These can be found at any sporting goods store. These are not replacements for controlling your punches or kicks. This is where you and I may differ. I can stop an inch away from my target at full speed. You may want to practice this on something other than your child before you speed up on your strikes.

Remember, do not do any exercise with which you are not comfortable

This continued to all body parts. Each time starting slowly so he could get used to blocking that area. We even did kicks in the same manner. Safety warning, have your child keep a closed fist when he/she blocks low to avoid jamming his her fingers.

Now I did combinations. Once again slowly at first

Head to body

Body to head

Kick then punch

Punch then kick

As he got better at blocking I allowed him to move around to help to avoid being hit.

Now I Began Adding The Intimidation Factor

This will take a little acting on your part. You must now make your face look mad and begin the same blocking drills as above. You can still use the focus mitt or pillow for the head strikes (remember once again a focus mitt or pillow can still hurt). You can try skipping to a speed your child is slightly uncomfortable with for this drill instead of starting at a slow pace.

Why do you practice at a slightly uncomfortable speed for your child? So your child will have a chance to get comfortable with the speed. Do not overwhelm your child. Make the block achievable.

As your child begins getting used to your "mean face" add vocalization. For example as I would shove my student I would say

"Com'on last name, let's go. Little shrimp you wanna fight?!"

Find out what your child's bully has been saying to him/her to intimidate him/her. Not the insults, just those vocalizations the bully uses to try to goad your child into fighting. Introduce this slowly to your child and let your child know what you're doing before hand.

You'll find as your child gets used to hearing these vocalizations and seeing your face he/she will be able to react better to defend himself/herself. This is a serious part of self-defense training often missed in martial arts schools and self-defense courses.

"I don't want to fight you. Now walk away so no one gets into trouble" Now days is a good thing to say nice and loud in front of witnesses.

Overcoming Fear in a Self-Defense Situation

How do you overcome fear in a self-defense situation? Basically you don't, you learn to use the fear instead. Making it a tool that you shape not allowing fear to control you. All fine and dandy, but how do you go about learning how to use fear?

Let's examine what fear is. Fear is an emotional response to stimuli either eternal or internal. Fear has certain physiological responses.

Increased heart rate

Increased respiration

Introduction of epinephrines into the body which constrict capillaries, increase strength and increase speed.

There are various mental responses to fear

Freezing up. Not being able to move at all though your mind may be telling to run, block, fight!

Anger. Anger and fear are very closely related. A reaction to fear of anger will at the very least help you to survive better than freezing up, but it could also inhibit your thought processes and get you killed.

Trained reaction to fear. Your body relaxes, your mind focuses. Adrenaline increases your strength and speed making you a very dangerous individual.

I've personally spent a long time studying fear and it's various physiological and psychological effects on individuals. I've developed a very good method of dealing and working with the fear response, which directly and indirectly over the years has saved my life from avoiding car collisions to defending my life.

There are two different ways of training to use fear.

1. Place yourself in life threatening situations on a regular basis.

This method has the disadvantage of ending your training career at an early start.

2. Place yourself in life threatening situations on a regular basis mentally.

This method has the advantage of extending your training career while at the same time possibly saving your life.

Many martial artists spend their lives learning to block and strike. Going through situation after situation. Attacks from the front attacks from behind, from the side, multiple attackers.

Some martial artists don't even practice these scenarios. Assuming the same defensive reaction from the front will work from the side and from attacks from behind. Some martial arts instructors when asked "what if" by their students will simply say, "just don't put yourself in that position". If that were the answer there would be no need to take self-defense at all. Just don't put yourself in that position.

For those martial artists who do practice situational self-defense training, many of you are not allowing for the mental aspect of a physical attack.

Mental preparedness for a physical attack, I believe, is even more important than the physical side of preparing for an attack. Why do you think it is that a trained martial artist would fear a seasoned street fighter (weird term). Because the street fighter has been in real fights. The few tricks he's picked up to win a street brawl have actually been executed by him under the mental stress of a life and death situation Most martial artists, fortunately, have not had this misfortune.

My Method of Emulating Fear

Let's look back at the physiological effects of fear once again.

Increased heart rate and respiration are two major physiological responses to fear.

A tensing of voluntary muscle groups is another, more so in the untrained individual.

If you emulate these three physiological responses to fear, you will be on your way to emulating it mentally as well.

So first a slight tension of voluntary muscle groups. Now increase your breathing. Short shallow breaths are best to emulate this physiological response.

Now to The Mental Aspect

You need a padded up live partner. For this drill I would often take an air shield and tie it to the front on an advanced student.

You need to have enough mental control to remember to strike only the air shield of your partner.

Now your partner must do some acting as well. He/She must look both in the face and body language as though they intend to hit you and hurt you. Even emulating the foul language you might hear from an attacker in an attempt to intimidate you would help.

Now you put it in your mind that your partner is not your partner. He's a stranger that intends on doing you harm, mugging you, raping, beating you senseless and unless you defend yourself and hit this !@#$ just as hard as you can and don't get hit yourself that's just what's going to happen.

Start with a prearranged attack and counter-attack, but, put it out of your mind that you actually know what's going to happen. Feel the fear and tension before the attack, then block or evade like you mean it, like your life depends on it and counter-attack (eventually at the same time naturally). Takes turns doing this with your partner. Be careful not to get so carried away you hurt him. Remember it's his turn next.

Now from here perform the same mental and physical preparedness and move to my one step sparring variations you can find in (removed for article directories) Continue to strike just the air shield for now.

Now put some pads on and remove the air shield. Do one step variations again. Same mental stress of a real situation, but strike anywhere and pull the technique so you don't hurt your partner.

The combination of striking the air shield full contact and pulling the techniques on your partner when striking anywhere help prepare you both mentally and physically to strike full contact anywhere on your attacker, under the stress of a life threatening situation.

Ready to Become More Dangerous?

Start again with all of your self-defense drills. Emulate your fear for at least 10 seconds to put yourself in a life-threatening mental attitude.

Now consciously relax your muscles. Make your breathing slightly faster than normal to emulate a threat, but make it deeper as well as if you were trying to control rapid breathing.

Now start again and add a mental aspect to begin working with your fear and stress. Begin again with your drills and this time take your fear and turn it into anger. It's not the final solution yet, but it will give you a better chance of survival than being frozen in place solid.

Turning fear into anger takes practice, but isn't that hard to accomplish. As I said earlier the two emotions are very similar. Basically this can be accomplished with an example such as this;

Instead of, "Oh my gosh, this stranger wants to hurt me!"

You change it to something like, "WHAT!? THIS SCUMBAG LOWLIFE WANTS TO HURT ME! I'LL SHOW THIS !@#$!"

Now add your rapid breathing to this and slight muscular tension and remember YOU'RE ANGRY!

Now do your steps to relax and attempt to control your breathing while remaining angry.

After you can successfully emulate anger whenever you want to now take your final step.

Start again with your self-defense drills. Follow all of my above steps, but now empty your mind! Void it of emotion. Let your well trained reflexes from various scenarios take over guided by subtle consciousness and thought. You may need to practice a meditation exercise for this which you can find in my removed for article directories.

You must be careful not to hurt your partner during any of these drill phases.

Shoving

Shoving or pushing is a very common way to begin a physical altercation even amongst adults.

Now you must begin slowly again. No anger, but this will go faster than previously. Your child can practice stating "I don't want to fight you. Now walk away so no one gets into trouble" during this drill as it progresses.

Single Hand Shove

Knock it away like your child did the punch. One advantage to note if your child blocks to the outside of your arm he/she may be able to get behind you or the your side. Thus limiting your next available weapons of your body to use against him/her.

Double Handed Shove

Whatever the bully has done to your child be sure to simulate that. If you're simply preparing your child for the possibility of bullies try all types of angles and attacks.

Conclusion

That's really all I can give you in the confines of the internet and and article directory

So What Finally Happened With Chris?

You may be wondering. As I recall, the bully approached Chris in the school yard with some of the bully's followers and shoved Chris. Chris knocked the bully's hands away and kicked him in the stomach knocking him to the ground. Chris didn't run, he knew the bully's friends would chase him simply out of a predator flight-chase response. Instead Chris stood there facing the bully in the fighting stance I described to you.

A shocked look on the bully's followers faces as well as one on the bully himself. Finally the bully stood up. Chris stood there in his fighting stance not saying a word. The bully mumbled something and walked off with the bully's followers following.

About the Author

About The Author of When Bullies Attack – Self-Defense Book for Kids

Bullying will be STOPPED, states Sensei J. Richard Kirkham B.Sc.. "As a dual certified teacher and martial arts and self-defense instructor I've seen too many things. So check out my downloadable book and optional video When Bullies Attack – Self-Defense Book for kids and EMPOWER YOUR CHILD to have the confidence and physical skills to deal with bullies!" http://MartialArts808.com/Bullying/

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